Who Am I
by dls
Summary: Beginning of Innocence, right as Angelus walks into the factory. Angelus wants his question answered. Rated M to be safe.


"Daddy!" Dru runs to me with her arms open wide.

"Dru! No!" Panic pours from Spike at the sight of me.

Wonderful, my boy is still as thick as ever; glad some things never change. How can he think I'm the fucking soulboy when I have so much more fashion sense than that slayer-whipped shit? Just look at these fucking leather pants!

I move toward Spike and lift my boy up by his collar, ignoring Dru's whimper as she hits the door. Don't think that girl was bright to begin with.

"I didn't think your first words to me after a century is 'Dru! No!'" I mock as I shake him back and forth.

Something's wrong here. He's just hanging limply in my hands, none of his usual struggle or kicks. What happened to my boy?

Shit! I remember being tied to Dru and giving her my blood then everything's a bit fuzzy. You know, I would have done it without the whole kidnapping and torture routine, but then again, that was the soulboy. Guess I can't really blame Spike for his actions, but I will anyway. Punishments are always fun for us.

But that can wait.

What I want to know right now is what the fuck happened to my boy?

It has to be the fucking slayer. The fucking slayer hurt my boy! I'm going to rip her entrails out and whip her with them.

No one touches my boy except for me. No. One.

"Daddy! Stop! Stop!" Dru rushes to me and tries to pry my fingers off Spike. It's then I realize that I'm still shaking him and my boy isn't looking at me.

"I'm not hurting him, Dru. Just playing a bit. You remember how we played, hmm?" I set Spike down in his wheelchair - fuck! He's in a wheelchair! He's IN a fucking wheelchair!

I thought he was just playing around with it, but never does it cross my mind that he needs it.

Think I'll flay the slayer too, among other things. Main focus right now is my Will.

Huh, I can hear the gears turning in his brain, sounds a bit rusty, I might add. My boy is thinking of something to say...and it really doesn't surprise me that what he says is completely the opposite of what he intended to say.

"Fucker." Soon, my sweet Will, soon.

"Not happy to see me?" I walk toward him, noticing with dismay that he's slowly rolling away from me and toward Dru.

Fuck! Rolling! I'm adding the slayer's family to the list of people to torture.

"'Course not." He's still not looking at me.

"I'm happy to see you! Daddy!" Dru coos, grinning like a child waiting for a treat.

Too bad I don't give a damn about her response. I want my boy!

"Look at me when I'm talking to you, childe!" I don't mean to use my "hours of torture await you" voice, but why isn't he looking at me?

"But, my Angel, I am looking at you."

"Dru! Shut the fuck up!" I shout as I notice the hurt flashes in Spike's eyes. It's not as potent as the first time Dru left him, guess she hasn't changed over the years. But doesn't he know? I don't want her. I want him, my beautiful, arrogant, intelligent, rebellious boy with eyes like a clear summer day.

All those decades trapped in the back of the fucking soulboy's mind, my Will's clear blue eyes kept me sane. Knowing that I've trained him well and one day, when I got free, we'd be together again.

Now I am free, my boy isn't looking at me. I want my fucking reward, damn it! For fighting free of the soul cage just for a glimpse of his eyes.

I need to be alone with him. Dru is useless now; she's kept him company for a century, good. But she's the reason he's hurt. I have no doubts that she's the one that wanted to go into the mob. Spike should have let her die there.

Then again, he couldn't have known I'd be back.

Dru has to go. Now.

"Dru," I wait until she's looking expectantly at me, "Go play 'catch the light' in the garden."

"But there's no light, not even the pretty pixie ones." She pouts and horror dawns on Spike's face.

"No, Dru. Don't listen to him."

Of course, she ignores him. Fucking insane bitch. "There'll be light soon. Don't come back until you caught lots of it."

She nods and runs out, paying no attention to Spike's frantic cry for her to stay inside.

"Now let's talk." I grin as I lean back against the table.

"Fuck off." He spits out the words. At least he isn't begging for me to call Dru back. Smart boy.

"It's just the two of us now, Spike."

"Which part of 'fuck off' didn't you bloody understand?"

"The 'off' part. We both know I do the fuck extremely well." I smirk.

"Whatever," He cringes at the American expression. "Angel."

That will not do at all. He needs to know who I am, who I'll always be when I'm around him, regardless of what I was - a fucking vampire with a soul.

Time to bring back some memories.

"Wrong, boy!" I close the distance between us with three long strides and backhand him.

"Let's try again, shall we? Spikey?" I lean over him as he tries to lift himself up on his elbows.

Okay, now adding the slayer's friends to the "people to torture" list.

"Who am I?"

"Angelus..." he replies weakly. Shit, what happened to him? He's been through worse, I've seen to it by tossing him in with fifty Gollor demons. Why isn't he healed by now? I'll bet the fucking soulboy's closet - nothing to lose for me anyway - that Dru is shitty at taking care of him.

"Wrong again." He's still not remembering, best to give his mind another jolt then. I send him lying flat on his back with an uppercut.

"Alright, let's try again. "

I think he mumbles something like "fucking ponce" under his breath, but I'll let it slide – this time.

"Who. Am. I. William?" I emphasize each word with a kick to his abdomen. That's when I notice that his legs are just lying motionlessly on the floor. If he were just weak, he'd at least try to block some of those kicks.

He's paralyzed. Fuck!

While it's nothing a few days of sire's blood won't fix, it doesn't excuse the slayer.

What else of the Slayer's can I torture? Her watcher! Of course, can't believe I didn't think of him sooner.

As soon as I make my boy well again, we'll go play.

At the use of his given name, Spike finally understands what I'm trying to make him understand.

"Liam." He whispers the word like a prayer, exactly how I like it.

"Will." I pick him up and set him back in his chair. "Do you want Dru back?" Maybe I was a bit rash in sending her to her sunny death, but she will not stand between me and my boy. However, if he wanted her back…I can't deny my Will anything.

He considers the question and with a brilliant smile, he answers, "No."

Despite the brilliance of his smile, I can see the sorrow in his eyes. He has loved her, that's no doubt, but Dru was never big with fidelity and my boy believes in it. I'd estimate that she's probably left him for someone - or some thing - at least seventy times in the last century.

His love has worn out over time, why wouldn't it? The way she treads over it like it's worthless. Maybe I shouldn't just let her burn, some torture sounds good too.

"Liam." Spike's soft voice calls me back from my thoughts. He looks up at me with eyes that shine like blue fire, flames that I'd willingly embrace.

"Will." I pick him up and consider dragging Dru back in for days of torture at how light my Will is.

A shrill scream from the garden ruins my plan. Guess the sun's up sooner than I thought it'd be.

Spike buries his face in my shirt and purrs softly as I carry him into his bedroom. Dru's death doesn't hurt him because he knows she was a place to keep his heart until its rightful owner returns.

And I have.

I settle him down on the bed and hold his mouth to my neck. "Drink, my sweet Will. Drink your fill and rest."

Running my fingers through his surprisingly soft locks, despite the bleaching and hair gel, I whisper, "Then we'll paint the town red."

He purrs in the back of his throat as he detaches his lips from the wound to give me a light kiss.

This is heaven.


End file.
